What is love? Is it affection, playfulness, having eachother's back? Is it sharing dreams, sharing hopes and fears? Is it sex? Freak nasty, sweat dripping, pillow biting passion? Or is it sitting quietly, enjoying one anothers energy as you stare into each others souls? It feels wonderful at first, that feeling of excitement in the pit of your stomach. The anxiety you feel as you wait for your lover to call you. The joy you feel when you spend time with them. Then all of a sudden something changes. That person that lit up your life is now annoying the hell out of you. There is constant arguing and those little idiosyncrasies that you thought were “oh so cute” now make you want to puke every single time (“Can you not burp so damn loud, I mean DAMN! Why you gotta snort when you laugh?! Stop playin so much!!”). Why can't you stand this person anymore? Is it really THEM that you can't stand or is it getting too real, too up close and personal?
Every relationship is a reflection. A reflection of YOU from an angle that you may have never considered but still a reflection of YOU. Looking at yourself and your partner in this way allows you to take more responsibility, and stop pointing the finger outward. Those arguments and that irritation that arises come from the lust bubble/infatuation cloud dissipating, and what you are left with is pure unadulterated SELF. It becomes extremely real and a little scary when its time to face You in raw form with the mask off, but this is why spiritual work is so beneficial. It gives us an alternative view of the people that we encounter in our lives. It curbs that judgmental eye and takes you out of a “victim” mentality when you understand that every single person reflects an aspect of YOU. Their purpose is to allow you to be introspective and have a greater understanding of what self acceptance and unconditional love truly are and where they begin, within.
Do you know what it feels like to truly Love? The fear within emits a signal that attracts all unwanted situations in our lives, but fear cannot survive where there is love. The first step is to take a look at that reflection in the mirror. Do you love yourself? Do you truly know yourself? Take a good look, without judgment, because we can be our toughest critics, and say, “I LOVE YOU _______ (self)”, no really “I....LOVE...YOU!” If you are able to usher in the unconditional love that we all seek for yourself first, then you emit a different signal, an energy of acceptance that will attract the same. The more you shower yourself with love, along with positive affirmations ("I am worthy of Love," "I am divinely perfect in every way"), and reserve time to be by yourself and get to know YOU (meditating, reading, movies, dinner all by yourself), the love energy that you emit will increase. This process empowers you and as you release the fear and judgement within you will begin to discover TRUE LOVE.